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When I was drawing all the fun details on the previous page, I wasn't thinking about the fact that I'd have to draw them again on this page.

I'm a bit worried the dialogue on this page might be confusing. I'd love to hear whether or not that's the case!
Posted by eishiya on October 18th, 2017, 1:21 pm. Reply

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I think I can follow fairly well what's going on, but it's a bit hard to tell who's speaking (it sounds like a dialogue, but without indication that the text comes from two different people, it took me a moment to figure that out). It's fairly clear that Tim is one of the people speaking because he's holding the keys in his hand, but I can't tell if he's recalling a conversation from before, talking to someone on his invisible phone or to the voices inside his head. Recalling previous chapters, I'm guessing the other person is probably Alain, but the page doesn't really give any indication.

Are the things in the middle panel elevator buttons? It took me a while to guess, but that might be because I haven't spent much time in huge complexes and am used to a more vertical arrangement of the buttons.
Posted by Glueckskeks on October 18th, 2017, 1:39 pm. Reply

@Glueckskeks: You guessed the speakers correctly! Tim's recalling a conversation with Alain.
I was initially going to have have the conversation happen in flashback panels instead of laying it over the "present" but that slowed the scene down too much and looked even more confusing. Uuugh flashbacks.

The things in the middle aren't buttons, but rather floor indicators. Close enough though - as long as it reads like something elevator/floor-related, that's good.
Posted by eishiya on October 18th, 2017, 1:57 pm. Reply

Who's speaking.

I thought Tim was saying he got the landlord to send him a key, someone else was saying that wasn't legal.

But it was Alain who got the key from the landlord and gave it to Tim to go check on this fellow whom I can't remember. Tim was worried about legalities. And Alain did the verbal equivalent of a shrug. Okay. Got it.

So who is this fellow? I feel like you should use names more often. Until I read the comments, I could not tell that we had two different times, I could not remember who was who, etc. I was like, "Huh, Roy sure looks different. Why is he back to hunting skows? Oh, he was taken in by the coroner. The coroner had a grandfather with the same initials." It took quite a while to realize they were different people, and by that point, I was thoroughly missing a ton of details.

I'm sorry, that may have been harsh. I have a tendency to overcriticize everything. But I absolutely love the art style. I wouldn't change a single thing about that.
Posted by Dartania (Guest) on October 18th, 2017, 5:40 pm. Reply

@Dartania: No worries, your comment wasn't over-critical at all <3 It's really good to hear from readers who get confused - most such readers just leave and never make themselves known, which leads to a confirmation bias in the comments - the people commenting are the ones for whom the problems weren't problems.


Though I tried to make it clear the first couple of times the story switched time periods, it's still possible to miss, and if you do miss it, it's very confusing. It's an odd set-up for a story that I'll probably not use again.

It would've been much clearer to use text to communicate the different time periods but I'm stubborn and felt I could communicate it through visuals alone. Apparently I didn't do that good of a job. I probably should have emphasised the past-ness more in chapter 1, so that it could contrast better with chapter 2.


I definitely should use names more, the opportunities just never come up. I've even joked about it in the comments :'D
There will be more name mentions in upcoming scenes because they work naturally in those conversations, but overall I guess I'm banking on people identifying the characters by their appearance/jobs/personalities rather than their names. I find it flattering when people remember the names of my characters, even when they're mentioned more frequently than they are in this comic.
Posted by eishiya on October 18th, 2017, 7:09 pm. Reply

I think the dialogue works well - it instantly sent my mind back to Alain.

And you know I'm getting a kick out of all that urban decay. :D WOW IS THAT A FUNCTIONAL NON-STOLEN FIRE EXTINGUISHER
Posted by Oly-RRR on October 23rd, 2017, 9:50 am. Reply

@Oly-RRR: Maybe would-be thieves are afraid of the floor that's apparently so dark that you can't see the floor ;D
Posted by eishiya on October 23rd, 2017, 11:50 am. Reply

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